I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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