her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize