doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
