Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
