i was born a porn star she said
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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