did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize