So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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