is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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