1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
