Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.