Moan for me like Helen Keller
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
