We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
