Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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