So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So much rum. So many feels.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
