You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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