My first STD was from a foam party
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
