Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
