she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
