Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
