I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
