I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize