At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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