Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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