just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
