my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize