Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
