Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
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I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
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I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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