I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
