He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
no you cant smoke seaweed
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So vagazzling was a success
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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