I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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