He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
