That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
