You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
