I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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