I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
