I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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