Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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