Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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