Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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