Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
