DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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