Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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