I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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