just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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