i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
