Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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