so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
