I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
