Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
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I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
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I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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