You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
