He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
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THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
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Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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