we're blogging at a bar
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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