Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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