5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize