Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
