I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
