A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Im part way to drunk.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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