We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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